Phantasy for an Ideal World

Did a Marathon... I saw Fantastic 4 and I just saw Ewan McGregor's film, The Island, and hell, it was worth every minute wasted that was supposed to be for studying for my orals with Maita and William.

The 'Island'

Was more like a container... a showcase for panopticism and modernity at work, controlling every aspect of life from the buttons you use to fasten your shirt, to the shirt that you tuck in our pants... to the maddening semblance of order... to the antiseptic environment containing existence and protecting it from an outside disease... an other.

It was short of being gross, really... but it worked wonders on how they portrayed MAN's (genderedness intended) penchant for domination through modern instruments.

It was also full of representations of how MAN (again, genderedness intended) can use this force for his gain and how villainous characters are racialized into black skin. Though there was some redemption at the end, still... the meanings attached to this representation throughout the narratives were indicative of a vicious system of othering and of demonizing that produced (through discourse) other.

STOP!!! I've been reading too much...

The 'Library'

I bumped into Maita the other day in the library. I told her about a book which I'm currently pouring over. Knowledge and Civilization by Barry Allen. He's supposed to have obtained his Ph.D. from Princeton... perhaps the pinnacle of American Academia. The book actually makes a critique of the fundamental biases of epistemological thought in Philosophy and attempts a Philosophical exercise [against] Foucauldian discourse. A bit of Richard Rorty comes into play. Things like propositional biases and postmodern subjectivism fly all around the pages of Allen's opus which I'm not comfortable of. Actually... I have been trying to get myself out of the 'modern' trap that I've been immersed in... while avoiding the perils of solipsistic subjectivism. I know, I know its a false dichotomy and all but I'm having really a hard time of not thinking in binaries. In fact Anouk and I have been talking about it... how do you transcend this binary? If we prescribe a way, doesn't it defeat the exercise anyway? Maita says its through dialogue but people don't really engage in this ideal Habermasian dialogue, which is inherently problematic anyway... Even Gadamerian dialogue is somewhat [prescriptive].

Perhaps Maita is right...

Maita: Man, don't you ever tire of thinking?
Moi: Well now, I have my orals with you guys so I'm doin' my prep work...

And yet, I am getting tired of it...

I admit that sometimes I long for the grounded-ness of modernity...

I NEED DR[u]G[s]

I ha ve be en

ex pe ri en ci ng a he fty am ou nt of vi ol en ce la

te ly.

I do nt
kn ow
w h ere
to pla
ce my self/ /



Th ou gh ts ra mb le in si de my hea d I do nt kn
ow my ce ntr e an ymo re...

the c re vices... th e ev er exp and ing

[cRE] viCES con[sum]e m y ver y [BEing]//

pe RHa ps some pLaCeBO? per hap s, p er ha ps//


I ne ed to see a fi lmmmmm.

exciting!

I'm quite excited about my thesis. I just re-configured my thesis so I wont be doing most of the work away from Manila. Probably, about 3/4 or if not all will be done here in Manila. I'm to have my first consultation this coming wednesday with Dr. Tolosa.

The major changes I've made include the problem and thesis statements, the approach/methodology... I've done the changes so I can use my papers for my Epistemological Issues class and Sexual Politics class as actual chapters for my thesis. Also, I'm to re-do my paper for IR under the guidance of Maita as another chapter, which leaves me with 1 more chapter to do plus the synthesis and summary/conclusions part. I may be able to finish this March after all... The trouble is, what am I to do when I do finish this degree?

Options:

Work for the government and become a full-blooded technocrat (EEP!)

Apply for teaching posts everywhere, and I do mean, EVERYWHERE!

Fly-fly-fly-fly!!! Canada, here I come?

Decisions, decisions... I still have 3 months to go 'til I finish this semester... :D

The Unbreakable [B]ow

the title: A 'tribute' to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood 'Princess'

Just finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince last Sunday. It was quite shorter than the previous volume, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

---

But of course there are many things happening in my muggle-infested world. I have come about certain things in life. Certain things that I have been sworn into secrecy. I have made an Unbreakable Vow, so to speak. I am a Secret-Keeper. In other words, I know something that I am not supposed to know.

But really now, I do not find anything offensive here. It is only in the hallucinating minds of those who are affected that devils toil to injure the highly fragile mind of those who dwell in their ivory towers. Get real.

Do you blog? Do you know what blogs are for? Well certainly I use it for my ramblings, however ludicrous they may sound.

talk of the town

It feels good that they're actually talking about me. It's rather self-centered i know but it's just funny that they're goin' gah-gah over such a simple matter. hahaha!

*Weapons of the Weak*

Benjie's Bidding

"By order of the regal court of politics, you, are tasked to contact Ed Tayao from UST to talk about the upsurge of political science majors applying for the global politics program at this venerable court."

there're polsci majors applying here? really?

Un-Attachment

Opaque as some people may be one cannot prevent others from speculating what thay think and feel. It is somewhat irritating really to do this on my part. I feel a need to unload a great deal of distress from my already burgeoning mind which is occupied by so many problems from this life-world. And what's this? Treason? I should think not. Then again, I can never tell. I am constrained by my prejudices on the matter yet these are the same prejudices that animate my thoughts on the matter.

I feel a sense of loss on the matter really, to have a fall out. The sad part about this is I don't even know what happened. Perhaps some details yes, but to know why exactly, perhaps not.

Nevertheless, I merely needed to unload and I suppose writing about it would help to an uncertain degree. "It has been my issue with you ever since... you never tell me what you really think... perhaps that is why our horizons never fully meet... or perhaps you avoid it for some ludicrous reason..."

But still, I do believe in fairies.

-nothing follows-

Disaster

How would you feel if you found out one day that the person you've been having a 'violent' crush on was diagnosed with an illness that may lead to his death? That is precisely the feeling that i am grappling with at the moment. I was shocked when I found out. I didn't know how to react. 'yun lang...

I Resign

During our Epistemology class yesterday, William made a quick survey of the stands that the class members have on the issue to which I responded in a very ambivalent albeit uncomfortable tone, "I have none."

As of press time, the different stands of the 'academe' are as follows:

University of the Philippines Diliman (Student Assembly)

Gloria M Arroyo & Noli De Castro, Resign

Ateneo de Manila University (Loyola Schools)

Gloria M Arroyo, Resign

De La Salle University (Manila)

Gloria M Arroyo, Resign

University of Santo Tomas

Gloria M Arroyo, Truth Commission

The confidence of the academe on the current political setup is waning. In UP, the general sentiment is that there should be a transition towards a new government... well we know who has control of the Student Ass... and I do mean, ass. On top of the Hill the statement calls for her resignation, the overhaul of the Commission on Elections and a fundamental change in the political setup through democratic means (read: charter change).

UST's call is more conservative. It makes Ateneo's call look like extreme. Then again, UST has been a breeding-ground of conservatives, two of which I have clashed with in the past.

If there will be changes, I hope it is a movement away from the current setup of what Bello et al have termed as Anti-Developmental. I think if they do re-write the constitution they should make a drastic change on the oligopolistic setup of our institutions of representation. Perhaps a transition towards a unicameral proportional representation type of parliamentary government tamed with say, 30-40 percent of SMPs... Semi-parliamentary-semi-presidential and Federal setup with less executive powers on the president and more for the Prime Minister.

[Help! I'm possessed with the spirit of J*** *a*ad**!!!!!]

Trouble with the people from España (Special Edition)

C.Batan: What's your research about?

Moi: I'm looking into the merging of the study of security and development, a very Mark Duffield 'type' of study. Specifically, I'm looking at how development discourses of International Financial Institutions such as the World Bank, ADB, or the UNDP instersect with those of the military and with the personal narratives of the locals of selected communities in Maguindanao.

C.Batan: Oh. You know its really interesting to study the sociology of politics. But its really saddening that some people would think that a study of politics directed at the people of communities would yield results. If a research on politics should be done, the researcher should focus on the elites, like the politicians and the like. The closest thing that I have seen was the thesis done by [B****] only because he is part of that elite.

WHAT THE FUCK?

Oh yeah, he's a fan of C.W. Mills. Of course I admire Mills for his inquiry into the elite of the US. But a confinement of 'politics' to the elites is not only myopic nut dangerously anachronistic as well!. To be safe, Mills' study focus was the elite as a group. Such 19xx view deserve to be archived along with the likes of Gabriel Almond and Talcott Parsons.

What do you expect? He's studying in a place provençal... (i wonder if i got that right... i admit that i'm favouring a particular spatial/geographical imaginary... I do so strategically just to disrupt the people's imaginary of this character.

Bobby-ing Queer Theory; Queering Bobby Theory

June 29, 6pm Convergent Technologies Center, Ateneo de Manila University

I was tasked as lead discussant for the introductory readings for Queer Theory under our Sexual Politics class with Mr. Roberto Benedicto who recently was conferred a Master's Degree from York University in Toronto, Canada. Unfortunately, I was in one of those stage-fright modes of mine. I always get that feeling when (a) I haven't read anything I've been tasked to say, (b) I am within the presence of a personage whom I feel is an intellectual, (c) I am within the presence of my 'crush'. Well, I certainly read the texts, and even more. I have been interested in Queer theory for ages. In fact, I added a lot of other info in the discussion which Jagose and Sullivan did not take up (perhaps they felt that they weren't necessary?). Certainly, I have no 'crush' among the members of the class. None of them are my type. Perhaps its the second one.

Later that night I texted my friend, Ella, an alumna of the elitist group, Thomasian Debaters Club, the 'arch-nemesis' of Ateneo Debate Society I assume. I told her what happened to me and she gave a very simple yet highly relevant piece of advice. "Don't let them get to you." Quite simple really, and I think I'll work on that. I'm having no trouble articulating myself with another character during my summer classes in IR. She was at first really scary. A friend of mine quipped that she's not usually like that when she teaches undergrad. Perhaps its the atmosphere of tension between her and the political science majors. Ella and I agreed that I may have come to a point that I have demystified my image of Maita hence enabling myself to exude whatever 'mood' that I need or want to project. I need to achieve this with Mr. Benedicto. And I hope to do it soon as we're doing Foucault next week.